Please stop whatever you're doing and focus your energy on the following:
What you've just witnessed is absolutely real. As in, real cameras operated by real people using real film. It was actually a theater trailer produced by the Los Angeles Times made to show off some of the hot moves that camera people use to shoot scenes using various machines, interesting devices and a really frantic guy in white shorts. Oh, and VAN DAMME.
The scene rules on so many levels. But what if I were to sit here today and proclaim that there was an alternate music score to the clip done by synth-maniac Steve Moore?
Steve injected an already awe-inspiring clip with 15cc's of sunny, late-afternoon euphoria that even Jan Hammer would tip his sunglasses to. I actually felt strong emotions rush through me while watching this.
From what I can gather this happened after a conversation and request by someone on Twitter to Steve. Keep an eye out this year for his full length score for the upcoming action-thriller The Guest, directed by Adam Wingard (You're Next).
Long live analog, skillful camerawork, late afternoon sun, denim, leather and gas powered engines.
Death to CGI, green screens, electric cars and smart-phones.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Feast your eyes on some samples from a photo shoot done by a horror photographer/fanatic named Jason Sheppard. Last year found the artist celebrating both the re-launch of his site TrueHorror.net and the release of 2013's Curse of Chucky by throwing a photo session with his pal Holly and his very own Good Guy doll. I really love and appreciate that his inspiration was the toy factory in Child's Play 2.
The way I dream about walking into this manufacturing plant of red-haired bastard dolls is probably how some kids dream about entering Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. I'd give just about anything to wander aimlessly for hours through the aisles of the warehouse and tour the machinery of the Play Pals Toys headquarters. When I stumbled on these photos and discovered Jason's unbelievable, vivid attention to detail, my eyes lit up.
Not only has Jason taken exquisite photos, but he's created a limited run of Good Guys posters, prints and stickers that are now for sale in his store. Extreme amounts of attention and detail went into the artwork and layout, so be a sport and cough up the mere few bucks that he's charging to grab one of the colorful prints before they're all gone...and support a fellow friend till' the end!
But my recent Chucky explosion wouldn't quit just yet...remember my rambling at the top of this post about planets aligning? It just so happens that a 35mm print of Child's Play 2 was recently announced to be screened at one of the great repertory cinemas in Los Angeles, New Beverly Cinema. The great Horror-Movie-A-Day will host the event this Saturday at midnight, with the franchise's longtime creator Don Mancini and director of the movie John Lafia IN-PERSON for a Q&A. Tickets can be bought in advance through Brown Paper Tickets. This one guarantees to pack a madhouse, so if you're planning on attending, get them sooner than later.
Lastly, have a look at the following TV trailers for the film, and stay 'till the end to see moviegoer reactions (including my favorite, "MORE CHUCK FOR THE BUCK!")
Friday, February 14, 2014
***NOTE: DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH is an ongoing saga giving thanks and praise to a chosen deadbeat character each month. To see the rest of em', go here***
Only a sly piece of swine like Glenn Gulia would meander his way into the month that Valentine's Day falls into for our DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH feature for February.
What sets Glenn apart from other famed deadbeats you'll read about on here is that he made a living as a successful, functioning deadbeat. While spending his days making coin through the bond market in the big city, this Sonny Crockett protege was able to "work late" most nights - which translates to going out at night and slipping all kinds of women the Glenn special...all this while still holding down a forward-moving relationship at home. This secures him into the very exclusive, functioning-deadbeat category. He even refers to attractive women as "top choice, grade A meat", a line that actually ends up adding to his demise at the end of The Wedding Singer. That, and when he chooses to fuck with Billy Idol.
My absolute favorite Glenn scene is the one below, specifically the look on his face after he asks Julia "How about I let you lean over me when we fly over the strip?"...
This guy is INSANE and that arrogant smirk kills me every time. But enough about the CONS, how about some posi-PROS? Here we go:
- his impressive blazer/t-shirt combinations
- the flawless head of hair
- the Delorean
- his clear love and commitment to all-things-MIAMI VICE
Oh there's no doubt about it, he's a selfish womanizer that lies to his pleasant girlfriend/fiance all the time. However, by the looks of it his PROS actually outweigh his CONS, which I suppose is expected when you conduct this type of important journalism on TNUC.
What do Glenn and Uncle T have most in common? Obviously how they wake up every morning!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Friday, January 31, 2014
If a part of you didn't already see this coming, clearly you aren't visiting your Uncle T enough...
So how is TNUC spending Superbowl Sunday? Take a WILD guess.
Times up. Obviously we plan on paying tribute to one of our pinnacle father figures of inspiration, SIR BRIAN BOSWORTH. You read that correctly, we're now required by contract to put a "Sir" in front of the platinum-blonde-mullet-warrior's name. The Boz's face was even recently chiseled in granite on the first step into the TNUC fortress. To put it lightly, his level of importance is paramount to our way of life.
As soon as word broke out that the Seattle Seahawks would potentially go all the way this Sunday, we had no choice but to declare this weekend as BOZ WEEKEND.
The press hasn't told us if Boz himself is planning on making an appearance at his former team's big game. For now we can only wonder. Will he ride his "John Stone collector edition series" Harley Davidson through the stadium naked, stopping at the 50 yard line for an extreme-close-up of him tipping his shades? Or casually strut onto the field wearing Zubaz pants to take his Komoto Dragon for a lap? If we're REALLY lucky, he'll re-create one of his big explosion action sequences from the 1991 biker-blockbuster Stone Cold during the halftime show and ruin everything! All we know for the moment is that Uncle T will be frantically sweating at the edge of his seat, waiting to find out.
If you don't care about football, you actually have a greater advantage because this will allow for an adventure-packed BOZ WEEKEND without any interruption from sports. Nobody in their right mind could deny their admiration for an undercover cop that wears crop-top muscle sweatshirts and tells his pet Komodo Dragon "you're gonna' have to eat your grub if you wanna' be a stud" [see video below]. Oh, and a girlfriend equipped with one of the best long-butts of 1991 that struts her stuff around his condo all day.
So pull that rugged copy of Stone Cold out, pop it in the VCR and immediately witness your adrenaline start to escalate. But don't you dare stop after Stone Cold because there's plenty of top-notch Boz material to keep you busy all weekend long. Raid your local flea markets to try and find copies of 1995's One Man's Justice, 1996's Spill, or bag all that and watch this commercial for Right Guard deoderant with The Boz. Oh, and what do we have here? A Stone Cold 1-900 number commercial to meet and have dinner with the man himself!
Take a good look at that. It's a single-dangling-cross earring that appears to be a small crystal. This guy CONTINUES to amaze.
Whatever distractions come your way on Sunday, we hope you can shed aside a moment of time to bask in BOZ WEEKEND. Take pride in knowing that for a brief moment a mulleted powerhouse named Brian Bosworth once walked football fields looking and acting the way he did. Thanks Boz.
(We almost forgot to give a brief history into the man's brief football career, so if you're interested in that, check out the comment section of this post for a passage from the TNUC history books.)